The way they think story #1: “Why do I have to go to school if I want to know anything I’ll Goolge it.”
What he is really saying is: School is an injustice to me . Well remember he is a kid and most kids see things as being unfair. The problem with that is, when kids think that something is unfair, they are more than likely not going to follow the rules or even honor what you say regarding it. This is why we have to use strategic conversation with them to give them more options as they are thinking through these issues that they call unfair.
What do you say: As parents we have to use non-confrontational ways to challenge them to think differently…for instance you could say something like, “School is all you son, it is not only your responsibility but the beginning of establishing your methods for the greatness you told me that you wanted to have when you become an adult. I understand that the work of school can be challenging, but let me ask you, do you think great people business owners, and leaders have challenges? How do you think they handle them?” Engage them with conversation.
The way they think story #2: “My teacher really doesn’t like me. I think she hates me.”
What they are saying is: Kids will play what we call the “victim role” This is your queue to know that your child is seeing himself as a victim. Being a victim in their minds would justify them not having to own up to their responsibilities. They actually think that if they stick to their story till the end that they won’t have to be held accountable..
What you can say: When you see your child playing that victim role, this is where your positive reinforcement should include addressing their responsibility. You could ask,” Tell me how it is your teachers responsibility for your homework to get done? Is she graded for your homework? Does that even make sense? You are there because you are supposed be the one showing the teacher no matter how much you think she hates you, that you are well able to do your work and that you are more capable than anyone thinks because you are not a victim. Great minds will always face peoople wholike them and who dislike them but it should never alter the way you perform”
Sponsored by M.O.B.S. Mothers of Black Sons
