Steps for Overcoming Infidelity
Dr. Gloria Morrow
Infidelity is very devastating to a marriage and the individuals in the marriage. There are many factors that contribute to infidelity, such as marital problems and stress. However, unless your spouse is a serial adulterer, couples can overcome and recover from infidelity. In fact, some couples report that the quality of their marriage improves dramatically the affair because their marriage became a real priority, especially when couples allow the affair to provide the impetus for them to work on some of the marital and individual issues that contributed to the infidelity.
Listed below are 10 steps to help you to overcome infidelity in your marriage.
• The infidelity must stop at once!
• The guilty party must take responsibility for their actions without making excuses or blame their spouse.
• The person who was cheated on must also be willing to look at him or herself and take responsibility for his or her role in the condition of the marriage.
• When the dust settles, talk honestly and openly with your spouse about the affair regardless to how difficult it may be.
• Avoid the temptation to make the affair a constant conversation piece! Women want to know every detail, which is often very difficult for men especially if women ask their men to retell their story over and over again. Forcing men to continue to tell every detail of the affair over and over may be destructive and it may cause men to shut down.
• Avoid discussing your spouse’s infidelity with those who lack spiritual maturity. When you discuss this issue with immature folk, you will most certainly receive the wrong advice.
• Seek marriage counseling, and be willing to participate in individual counseling as well to help both parties to work through any individual issues that may be contributing to the problems in your marriage.
• Be willing to forgive. Failure to forgive will hinder your ability to move forward in your relationship.
• Both parties must make the commitment to do the hard work to repair and restore their marital relationship. Remember, it will take time for you both to heal and recover from the affair. Begin to date again to build intimacy and trust.
• Place God back in the center of your marriage!