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African American Couple Conflict

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The Backstabber Personality

We have all heard and connected with the 1972 soul funk hit from the O’Jays called “Backstabber”: “What they do? They smile in your face, all the time they wanna to take your place the backstabber.” All of us are faced with people who truly make us wonder why are you always in my face smiling? Because the truth of the matter is, you have to be discerning with people who are overly friendly and full of flattery for no apparent reason. That is one of the ways to detect a backstabber among you. They truly have a capacity to make a show about being friends with you yet indulge in venomous gossip about you. And most of the time, in fact almost ALWAYS they are denying their role in spreading lies or starting rumors about people.

Here are reasons to simply avoid a backstabber:

  1. Through their rumors and twisted truths they have enough access to you to damage your reputation and integrity.
  2. They have nothing good to say about you in your absence. They make negative comments about your work and believe it or not they will have the audacity to take credit for your ideas.
  3. They also have no problem stirring the rumor mill to unsuspecting people who aren’t even interested in what they have to say.

In all things though there is a bright side. Here is what we can learn from a backstabber: 

  1. Going behind someone’s back with even the smallest thing can make matters worse.
  2. Keep away from overly friendly people especially if you don’t know them very well.
  3. You tend to empathize with people who gossip rather than take on their backstabber personality.

Proverbs 20:19

He who goes about as a slanderer reveals secrets, therefore do not associate with a gossip.

Proverbs 16:28

A perverse man spreads strife, and a slanderer separates intimate friends.

James 1:26

If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless.

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