Gratitude, Not Attitude: Cultivating Appreciating Our Blessings

Last week, I had an epiphany while driving my children to school one morning.  My husband normally drops our three sons off each day, but he was out of town. And my oldest son (age 12) is wonderful and very Type A.  I wonder where he gets that from?

He likes to arrive at least half an hour before school begins.  And this particular morning, that wasn’t happening.  They wouldn’t be late, but early wasn’t in the picture either. While finishing up some much needed tasks before leaving the house, I heard the following:

Sigh. “When are we leaving mom?” “Soon,” I responded.  I heard another one.  Sigh. “What time is it?” he asked. “Almost time to go,” I responded.  Finally, he let out another big sigh!  Ok. That was it!

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As we loaded into the car moments later, I had a number of things on my mind to say.  Number one on my list: “There will be no sighing at me!”

Now God has blessed us with three well-behaved, well-mannered boys who happen to love school.  That is no accident. We have worked pretty hard on achieving that goal for the last 12 years. But as any parent knows, you simply do the best you can and leave the rest to God.  Results are neither promised nor guaranteed.  So, I appreciated the fact that he wanted to get there early.  What I didn’t appreciate was the attitude.

So, once in the car, I told all of them that I didn’t want to hear any more sighing.  I appreciated that he wanted to get to school early, but he needed to appreciate the fact that I had some matters to take care of and since I happened to be the adult in charge, I would be using my best judgment to decide what needed to happen when.

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But then the epiphany came. I encouraged him that instead of being upset that he wasn’t as early as he wanted to be, that he and his brothers should focus instead on their many blessings!  Not the least of which was the very fact that they were being driven to school at all.  Let’s not take that for granted.

As parents in today’s world we give our children so much, so freely.  In light of that, we need to be really deliberate about cultivating an attitude of gratitude in them and ourselves.  In a world where $300-$500 gaming systems for children are common place; $300-$1000+ worth of computers are  often readily available in many American homes; expensive clothing and footwear is bought regularly (we don’t do that one); and cable TV is not seen as a luxury, but as a baseline necessity, we have to teach them to be thankful children, not just expectant consumers.  In short, we parents have got an obligation to keep it real!

It can be as simple as reminding ourselves and our children that saying grace before eating a meal is not just a formality.  It should actually be a heartfelt prayer of thanks to God for food in a country where every day over 15 million American children go hungry, according to the National Center for Children and Poverty.

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We have to remind ourselves and our children that we may not live in a mansion, but we thank God for having a roof over our heads, especially when the US Dept. of Education reports that an all-time high of over 1 million American students is now homeless.

As parents, we must be the gatekeepers of keeping perspective and cultivating true gratitude in our children and families.  If we don’t teach them to appreciate their blessings at home, they will never be able to engage as good citizens and faithful witnesses in society, at large.  And they will never be able to acknowledge the old adage, “but for the grace of God,  there go I… or that could have been me.”

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So, how did things turn out that morning, you ask?  I admit it.  I went all preacher on them and said, “I want Gratitude, Not Attitude. Say it with me!”  They murmured a reply, “Gratitude, not attitude.”  One more time!”  I commanded.  “Gratitude, not attitude!”  The second time, they repeated it with a little more gusto.

As I looked back in the rear view window, I could see the beginnings of smiles coming on to their faces.  Either they got it or they just thought, “Oh no, mom is on a roll!”

Either way, it was very a good start!   And I am GRATEFUL for that!

Rev. Frances Cudjoe Waters is an Associate Pastor at Hamilton Park United Methodist Church in Dallas, Texas.  She is a writer, blogger, preacher, teacher, wife, mother, media watcher and woman on a mission. Her goal is to help others to find their passion and God-given purpose using Romans 12:2 as the guiding scripture for her ministry, “Be Transformed by the renewing of your minds…” Rev. Frances is a graduate of Stanford and Harvard Law School and resides happily. Dallas, TX with her wonderful husband of 16 years and their three amazing sons.

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