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Resting in the lap of the one you love

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It’s bedtime and you’re all showered and smelling good and ready to cuddle up in the arms of your partner. Cuddling is a very important part of bonding, and according to science it can be a very beneficial part of your relationship. It’s a way to cultivate intimacy without the pressures of sex.

Sarah Hunter Murray, author of the book Not Always in the Mood: The New Science of Men, Sex, & Relationships, told the press team at Fatherly.

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“Given how common it is for couples to experience sexual desire at different times, cuddling allows for another way to get close and experience an intimate connection when sex isn’t necessarily on the table.”

It’s necessary to cuddle without crossing the line, so each partner feels comfortable with cuddling being the end goal.

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“If every time we cuddle it turns to sex, we may start pulling back from cuddling if we aren’t sure we are in the mood to avoid giving our partner the impression sex is on the table, so to speak.”

Continuing, “Then we lose out on all the other benefits cuddling provides.”

SEE ALSO: Breaking Down My Walls: How I Learned That Unconditional Love Means A Lot Of Forgiveness

One way to avoid cuddle/sex confusion is to make it clear if it’s cuddling time or getting it on time.

“If the goal is sleep, lights should go off or the room should be darkened,” registered nurse James Cobb told YourTango. “If it’s an after-breakfast cuddle, perhaps a time-limit should be considered.”

There are a couple things to avoid why divulging in this loving act of cuddling.

Spooning and wrapping your legs around your partner’s back, “lead to back pain in certain positions,” Cobb explained.

Other than that tip, communicate with your partner about which nights are sex night and which nights are reserved for closeness.


How To Properly Cuddle Your Partner  was originally published on